• America
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• The Guardian
• Wed Apr 16 2025

Name: Cinderella partying.

Age: Fairly new.

Appearance: Either sensible or boring, depending on your point of view.

If this is about influencers wearing shoes made of glass, I swear to God ? No, calm down. This isn?t quite as reckless as that. It?s primarily about bedtimes.

I don?t follow. It?s been reported that more and more young British women who go out drinking prefer to be back home and tucked up in bed by midnight.

They do? Yes. According to research by skincare brand No7, 51% of women like to go to bed early after a night out, 65% would rather have an evening at home and just 5% claimed that their perfect night involves going dancing with friends.

You young people are such wimps. There?s probably more to it than that. Over the past five years, 400 nightclubs have closed around the country due to rising costs, a reduction in people?s disposable income and a marked generational decrease in drinking culture that is led, in part, by a growing awareness of alcohol?s effects on mental and physical health.

Wimps. I?m just saying that it?s a little more complex than you?re making out.

In my day we?d start doing shots at 9pm, get blackout drunk and pass out fully dressed on top of our duvets at 5am. Great, and how is that working out for you?

I have a noticeable tremor and look 20 years older than I actually am. Well, sure. And at one point that was an important part of growing up. But now that doesn?t seem to be the case. In fact, last year the Wall Street Journal declared that 9pm was the hot new bedtime for people in their 20s.

But my bed is so boring. Many would disagree with you there ? people are getting more sleep than they did previously. According to the Washington Post, American men aged 15-24 sleep for 50 minutes more a night than they did in 2010.

So what? So it means that they probably have better focus, mood and cognitive function during the day as a result. It seems like healthy behaviour.

Is it all positive? Well, maybe not quite all positive. Perhaps we?re not going out because the increase in remote work has stunted our network of physical connections, and the lingering hangover of Covid has made us more reluctant to spend hours in a sweaty box breathing in the aerosolised germs of hundreds of strangers.

Wimps. Yes, but sensible wimps with better mental health and smooth, glowing skin.

I guess that has to count for something. Plus, given the state of the world at the moment, wouldn?t you want to hide in bed as well?

Do say: ?Cinderella, you shall go to the ball!?

Don?t say: ?Do try to be back before Newsnight, though.?